Big Dreams, even Bigger God

My greatest desire is to move out of our 2 bedroom townhouse and into a single family ranch with 3 bedrooms, at least 1.5 baths and a nice, big backyard and maybe even a garage. I have had this desire for years now. We bought our townhouse in July 2004 with the expectations of moving within 5 years. It's now going on 7 and we're still here. When we bought this house we had only been married for 1 year and didn't have any kids yet so this place seemed like a mansion to us. We now have 3 kids and are busting at the seams! I keep dreaming of that perfect home for us and then have to get brought back down to reality. In fact, right before Christmas I thought I had found our home. The price was great and in the neighborhood I desire. I even went so far as to have our agent show us the house, which made things even worse because the house was adorable! But did I really want to try and put our house on the market right before Christmas and deal with all that comes along with selling during the busy holiday season? I had a long conversation with my aunt about this and she was able to bring things into perspective for me. We decided the timing wasn't right and we would hold off for another 2 to 3 years. 2 to 3 years?!?!? UGH! I agreed with my husband on this decision, but 2 or 3 more years?

We have tried to move before but the timing has never been right. 3 summers ago we went so far as to move out of our home and deep clean it because we were all set to close and move to North Carolina. We had a house under contract in Wake Forest and Jeff had a good job all lined up. We were excited about going to a new area and raising our family there. After almost 4 weeks of living with my parents and playing the waiting game as to whether our buyer was going to get that final approval (she messed up big time the week of closing), we moved back into our house and canceled the deal on all ends.

Last week I got an email from a local realtor wanting to show our house. She had seen our house on http://www.zillow.com/ . Our house isn't on the market, but there is a make me move option on zillow's website. I mentioned it to Jeff, but we sort of ignored it. Our house isn't even close to being ready to show it to anyone. Yesterday I got a second email from this realtor so now I'm wondering if we should let her show the house and see what happens. This week I started looking at listings online again...on a whim. I know I should not do this and was even reminded of this by my sister. I just am curious to see what's out there right now. Sure enough, that adorable house is still on the market and is even $9,000 cheaper! But I found an even better house in the same neighborhood, just a slightly out of our price range. I mentioned it to Jeff (he laughs at me for desiring this particular neighborhood). I looked at this house again today online and the price has gone down $11,000, which now may possibly be in reach.

I know I'm dreaming big here but doesn't God say He'll give us the desires of our heart? So why not dream big? We've decided that we'll let this realtor show our house to her buyers and if they're serious it'll have to an 'as is' deal. How awesome would it be if this is God selling our house for us when it isn't even on the market? I prayed this morning that if this is God doing this, then He'll make things crystal clear so we'll know this is the right path for us to take. I don't want to jump into something that isn't right or if the timing isn't right. Yeah, I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to get out of the house we're in now and move to that cute little ranch I've been dreaming of - but I would NEVER want to do it if God wasn't in it.

Jessica

In May of 2009, I felt the urge to have another baby and when I talked to Jeff about it he agreed. One night about a month or so later we were putting the girls to bed there was a lot of drama and crying, which seems to be common with little girls. Jeff and I looked at each other and said, "Maybe we shouldn't have another baby right now." Too late! I was barely pregnant and just hadn't confirmed it yet. This time I was a little nervous as to how I would handle 3 children.

My sickness/nausea/yuckies felt different this time around and I was convinced that since it was a different feeling that we were having a boy this time. I had mixed feelings about what I wanted to have this go around. I thought it would be kind of fun to have a boy since I didn't have one. I also know that Jeff would really like to have a boy, so I was sort of hoping for a boy for his sake. BUT, I already have 2 little girls and another girl would be easy since I know girls and we have all girlie stuff in our home. The first week of November we found out it was another girl! Poor Jeff. No chance he'd see any blue since we decided this would be our final addition. Of course, he was ok with another girl, but I do wonder if he was remotely dissappointed that day in the ultrasound room.

I had decided this time around that since my labor and delivery with Samantha was so easy that I would try to go without any intervention. I spent hours of seeking advice from my sister and cousin, planning and finding just the right person to coach me through my labor. And I had it all worked out. Found a great friend from my church, who I've known for a while and trust and felt like I had everything set to go. At my 39 week check up I had my doctor cancel the induction date their office had set up for me, without my consent. Of course, it would have been easy for me to go through with the induction only because that meant I would be having baby sooner rather than later, but I was sticking to my plan. At my 40 week appointment the doctor checked to see how far dilated I was and said he wasn't able to feel the head...something wasn't right. He immediately took me to the ultrasound room to see what position the baby was in. Sure enough, her head was up in my ribs! This took me by surprise because just the week before, her head was down and she was in position. This also scared me! He began talking about turning her externally and if he wasn't able to then he said they'd have to do an emergency c-section. C-section?!?! I was scheduled to go to the hospital the next morning so the doctor could turn her around (not sure of the technical term) and if he wasn't able to, then I'd go immediately for a c-section. My birthing plan just flew right out the window!

I prayed all night long that this baby would turn. I was so scared of having a c-section. I know it would have been alright, but it really scared me. I had already had 2 successful vaginal deliveries and knew what to expect the 3rd time around.

We arrived at the hospital bright and early that Tuesday morning and spoke to the doctor before we got checked it. He asked me if I thought she had moved and I told him no. I could still feel her head in my ribs...he felt it too. She was still in the same position when we arrived at the hospital. I was so nervous but still hopeful that she would turn or that he would be able to do it. I was also nervous that it would hurt by him having to do it. One of the nurses told me that he had the highest percent rate of success...so I was hopeful it would work. The nurse set me up on fluids right away and we hung out for about an hour before the doctor came in with the emergency staff. Talk about a case of the nerves! I didn't know what to expect. He did a quick peak with the ultrasound and as soon as he put the instrument on my stomach he said, "Never mind!" I was confused?!? What? Never mind? He said she turned. I could NOT believe it! It had only been about an hour since we both felt her head in my ribs and now she's in the right position?!? PRAISE GOD! I told the doctor that was a lot of prayer...to which he sort of blew off! But I know better because I had a lot of prayers going up for both baby and me. Doctor immediately broke my water because he didn't want to take the chance of her turning again and said I was bed ridden. Didn't want me to move about for fear of the cord 'falling out'. (Yes, same doctor as with Madelyn.) I called my birthing coach and told her what happened and she offered to still come and help.

We were hoping my labor would start once my water had been broken, but nothing was really happening. We asked several times if I could get up and walk around and was told no. I tried the birthing ball, but that stopped what contractions I was having...so that wasn't helping. I kept refusing the pitocin because I still wanted to try to continue with my plan. Hours went by and nothing. Finally, at 4:30ish the doctor came in to check on me and basically said that they couldn't let me keep waiting due to risk of infection since my water had been broken. I finally agreed to the pitocin and was going to try to go without an epidural. The pitocin got started on the lowest setting and that's all it took. My labor took off and boy was I feeling it now! I tried relaxing through each contraction, but wasn't able to. My body tensed up and I just could not relax. My birthing coach told me I would be ok for me to get the epidural if I needed it. Everything would be fine and she would stick with me no matter what I decided. I got the epidural around 7:30 that night and was finally able to relax my entire body. Staying true to my previous labors, I started vomitting and not long after that I felt the pressure to push. Once they started the pitocin and the epidural, everything happened so fast! I feel like was minutes from the time the pitocin was started to the time she was born.

After about 10-15 minutes of me pushing and saying I couldn't do it anymore, Jessica Lynn was born at 9:57 on March 23, 2010! She weighed in at 7 pounds 10 ounces! 2 whole pounds less than Madelyn and 1 pound less than Samantha...my little peanut. She actually had a little bit of hair and it was dark, not like her sisters' light colored hair.

So had I given in to the doctor at 9:00 that morning and gotten the pitocin and epidural, then Jessica may have been born a little after lunch time. My true labor only lasted about 4-5 hours...but I was holding out all day hoping to go into labor on my own.

I love Jessica so much and am so thankful God has blessed us with her. She is such a joy to all of us. She loves her big sisters and they love her so much! (They've even talked about having number 4!)

Samantha

When Madelyn was about 13 months old we decided it was time to start trying for another baby. I wanted them to be about 2 years apart. I also wanted them to be in the same season in case we were to have another girl...that way the clothes would be able to be used again. In August of 2006 we found out we were having baby number 2. It was exciting for me, but different this time. I kept thinking, how could I love another child as much as I love Madelyn. I remember saying this to my cousin's wife and she told me I would love my second just as much as my first.

About 9 weeks into my pregnancy I started spotting. I freaked out. I had no trouble whatsoever with my first pregnancy. This really scared me. I called my doctor's office and had to leave a message for the nurse to call me back. It seemed like hours before I heard back from her. I called my sister freaking out and she calmed me down by telling me there was no need for me to be so upset, it would only harm the baby. The nurse finally called back and told me I was probably ok, but that I could come in that afternoon just to be checked out. My sister and I loaded up Zachery (my youngest nephew) and Madelyn, who were only a year old at the time, and went to the doctor. I was only 9 weeks, which is a little soon to hear the heartbeat, but they tried to see if they could find the heartbeat...nothing. The nurse did a quick ultrasound to see if she could find anything. She couldn't find anything and sort of gave us the impression that I had lost the baby. She took my blood to have the beta count done and said that she would call me the next day to see if the count was where it should be. The next day she called to let me know the count looked good and to come in the next morning first thing so the doctor can do an ultrasound. The next day, 2 days of waiting, my mom and I got to the office first thing so the doctor could do an ultrasound and then we saw it....a little heart beating! My mom cried and I was so thankful! Turns out, I was only about 6.5 weeks along and that everything was fine! The April 21 due date got moved to May 13, Mother's Day.



We found out in November or December that we would be having another girl. I was secretly excited because we had all of those little girl clothes that needed to be used again! :) Poor Jeff, all he was seeing was a pink future...instead of blue.



The rest of my pregnancy was uneventful, which is how I like them. About 4 weeks before the baby was due, I had an ultrasound to check the weight...since Madelyn was so big I wanted to have an idea as to what to expect. The tech noticed something not right with baby's kidney and just said for us to have the pediatrician check it out after she was born.



I walked and walked and walked everyday. I wanted this labor to be easier than the first. No pitocin if I could help it! I woke up at 5:30 a.m. on Saturday, May 12 feeling contractions. It didn't feel like those false contractions I had been having for weeks. I came downstairs and messed around on the computer for a couple of hours while timing the contractions. Finally around 7:30 I felt like this was it! Time to wake Jeff up so we could start heading to the hospital. I called my sister so she could come pick up Madelyn and help me get ready. No answer. Talk about scaring a pregnant woman who's in labor! I was finally able to get an answer after the 3rd or 4th time trying and their whole family came over to help. She encouraged me to stay at home for as long as possible. I tried holding out, but was anxious to see how far along I was. This was a completely different experience than the first time around.



I think we got to the hospital around 10 or 10:30 and was admitted right away. The nurse kept asking me question after question to get me checked in....and I kept asking for an epidural! I think she asked me every question under the sun and Jeff finally said, "Is this necessary?" Those of you who know Jeff, you know he had had enough if he said something! After the 100 questions were over I was finally given the epidural and was able to relax. They decided I was progressing well enough on my own and that they wouldn't break my water, which I was totally fine with. As I was laying down, resting, she moved really hard and we heard a pop. My mom looked at me and I said, "I think my water just broke." It was the weirdest thing! Sure enough, it had! When I asked for a towel, the nurse asked why? Uh, HELLO!?! I'd like to wipe my legs off! Staying true to the first labor, I then started vomitting. This let me know it wasn't too much longer.



At a little after 3:00 I was ready to push. We had to wait for the doctor! I think the nurse would have delivered had it taken him much longer to get in the room. When he finally arrived, he had Jeff suit up...he was going to deliver his own baby. (Jeff though he was joking.) About 3 pushes later, my Mother's Day baby had arrived!



Samantha Jane ended up weighing 8 pounds and 8 ounces. A whole pound smaller than big sister! It's true, I loved this baby just as much as I loved my first born.



Samantha is a true blessing, even in all of her silliness! I love her so much and I couldn't imagine life without her!

Madelyn

I want to freeze the births of my girls into my memory so I don't forget their special days. Here's Madelyn's story...



I found out the end of September, 2004 that we would be parents 2 months before our 2nd wedding anniversary. I cannot even put my excitement into words. I could not wait to experience pregnancy and being a mommy. December 27, we found out we were having a girl....Jeff, Nana, DeeDee and cousin Madison were able to be in the room for our first ultrasound. April 16, our church had a baby shower for us...DeeDee (my sister) surprised me by coming in from Iowa (where she was living at the time). It was such an exciting time for me. I quit work a little sooner than I had planned due to major back pain. Madelyn was head down, but face up (not sure the technical term) and it felt like her spine was in my spine. My due date of June 3, 2005 came and went without a sign of labor! The doctors had already scheduled an induction for June 6. We got up bright and early on Monday, June 6 and headed to the hospital. The fluids and pitocin was started around 7:45 a.m. and the wait began. I was not allowed to get up and move around since my water had been broken and the doctor didn't want to take a chance of the cord 'falling out'. We decided to go ahead and get the epideral since we had already decided I would have one. The wait turned into hours! Visitors came in and out all day. I was not talking to anyone, just waiting and feeling the contractions somewhat. Pitocin had turned into a nasty four letter word. My body was not ready to have this baby. To make things worse, I started vomitting...and then was told that was a good sign, it meant I was coming to the end. Finally, at 9:00 p.m. I was ready to push! I remember Jeff asking the doctor how long women usually push. The doctor's answer was, "Some women push for 3 hours." I was screaming in my mind, "I am NOT going to be pushing for THREE hours!!" About 55 minutes or so later, she arrived. Madelyn Suzanne Scott weighing in at 9 pounds 12.5 ounces!! The doctor and nurses were all amazed at how big she was and took guesses as to how much she weighed...the doctor was the closest with a guess of 10 pounds.
I did it! I was FINALLY was a mommy. Madelyn took to nursing right away, as if she was an old pro. I was so thankful because it was all new to me. We stayed in the hospital for 2 nights and was finally sent home Wednesday afternoon. We were all geared up to be up all night that first night, but it was just the opposite! We went to bed around 9ish and Madelyn didn't wake up until 3:30! I nursed her and we went back to sleep for a few more hours. I thought, if she keeps this up, this will be easy! She continued to only wake up 1 time a night for the first 2 months and then I decided it was a habit and decided to break her of it. A few nights later, she was sleeping ALL night!

Madelyn was such an easy baby for me and I enjoyed so much having her and being able to stay home with her. She is now 5 and a half and in Kindergarten. She is growing so fast and becoming a little lady. I love her so much and am proud to have her as my daughter.